Time Keeps on Slippin’

Once again its been a while since my last submission, but not so long a few hail mary’s couldn’t set things straight. No apologies this time, I just had little of any interest to write about & with what felt like perpetual rain, motivation to write was minimal. Unfortunately I also aggravated an old neck injury, twisting to look at traffic whilst getting on my bike. I haven’t done any yoga for six weeks & whilst I tried a number of times, I couldn’t sit at a table to type. Fortunately Yin balances Yang, which lead me to finding a great osteopath in Olon & after a trip to Sanata Elena for an x-ray ($25), it turns out Ive had two herniated disks in my neck for quite some time. Treatment has been slow & painful, but I hope to be back on the mat in the next week or so. On a positive note though, the last few weeks have seen a few developments with everything else, so sit back, get comfy & let me bring you up to date……

Its been getting colder, so a blanket going on the bed met with universal approval.

You will remember that having finally obtained my residential visa, the remaining goals were the arrival of my container & starting the house build. I knew from the experience gained during the visa application, I would have to focus on each of these next tasks individually if I were to have any chance of making them happen in the way I wanted. I’ve learnt over the last 6 months, that multi-tasking here is a failure waiting to happen, so I needed to focus on them one at a time. I needed to keep in mind that whatever else the construction phase may turn out to be, it will be time consuming & requiring my full attention. I will have little opportunity to leave the guys to work on their own & without wifi on site, it was clear I needed to get the shipping organised & underway before getting too involved in the build. Obviously, before a container can arrive at its end, it must first leave where it starts. Its leaving from the UK, so this should be the easy bit & pretty straight forward….. right? Ha!

The way it should work, is confirm one thing, move on to the next, confident the first will be completed as per confirmation; essentially a do & forget, allowing you to juggle multiple tasks by continually clearing the to-do list & not having to revisit. Expanding this principle into project management & you set dates by these confirmed tasks, using them to schedule following tasks, ideally resulting in seamless coordination. This is what I did for a living & I was pretty good at it.

Colour change starting with the tail, this lizard appears to emerge from the mat….

First up then is the container. These are restricted to a 6 month entry window, beginning from my visa issue, to bring in my worldly goods tax free, so the clock was ticking. Im not a fool, so I mostly arranged everything I wanted to go into the container before I left UK. In most instances I also developed the order such that a simple email instruction & payment would kick start the process whenever I was ready. This was the UK after all & since the demise of manufacturing, our service industry has been hailed, or at least purports to be, excellent at every level. To be fair, for most of the suppliers it went as expected. Magnet Kitchens were exceptional, as were a number of traders on ebay. The star was Stevie Richards, who owned the role of personal shopper & haulier for all things “ Man Cave “. Special mention for my mother providing local storage, haulage & coordination x. Things only began to unravel with the windows. Their original quote was a 2 week delivery. Naturally I allowed 4 to schedule all other deliveries to arrive at the docks for packing & loading. The shippers offer a 10 day window to receive & store free of charge, in addition to them collecting everything I had placed in storage before I left. It seemed reasonable to set 7^th July as the target date. This was beginning of June & I felt confident for a mid July sailing. Doh!

Ill skip all the back & forth exchanges, but it turns out the window manufacturers didn’t have the required materials when they accepted my order & appear to be either unwilling or unable to exert any pressure on their suppliers to deliver, meaning; all my windows, bi-fold doors, sliding doors & skylight will now not be delivered before 25^th August. At the time of writing, they are unable to offer any guarantee until they receive the material, currently due 14^th Aug.

Do I need to describe the frustration for you, have you not all felt at some point, that same rush of anger at having lost control over a situation. You know the point you reach after having exhausted every possible solution you can think of. There is just no way you can accept that your expectation will not be met. Surely the person on the other end of the phone or replying to your email will not only understand your situation, but move heaven & earth by way of reccompense to make it so it never happened. Hidden in there somewhere lies part of the problem, by the time you become aware of it, its too late to do anything about it. You’d clicked “buy now”, you paid the premium & it promised to be with you as specified. It wasn’t, but you gave it a bit more time. You need to go out, so you make arrangements with a neighbour. By the time you get back & its still not there, you are back to exactly the point before you ordered the item, but now its two days later & you need it for tomorrow. We’ve become somewhat ‘glazed’ to the complexity of logistics, every need is immediate & gratification  is not a patient mistress. The big players make a significant selling point on their ability to deliver what you need, exactly when you want it. For others it seems they choose not to recognise any fault in their inability to deliver on a promise. You can shout, you can fume, you take it out on others because you cant get the justice you feel you deserve, but you are powerless & it is humbling.  I recently read a quote that went;  being humble is not to think less of yourself, but to think of yourself less often. Well I was certainly thinking of others, but these were far from good thoughts that’s for sure. However, in appraisal of my position – they have my 50% deposit, but to take my business elsewhere is a non starter as I do not have the time to start from scratch, even assuming I got my deposit back. Yes I could cancel the order, but I want those windows dammit. So Im sitting on my tongue, a new yoga technique Im developing ;),  breathing slowly & deeply, accepting I cant change it. Trying to talk myself into calm & talk myself out of going total “Hulk Smash!”, in truth, its not been easy!

A line of snails make their way to the top of a palm. You never see them coming down.

Focusing on the best case scenario, I expect the container to sail 1^st week September (assuming I can get a slot), to arrive 32 days later & then hopefully within another two weeks, arrive at my house. You don’t get to keep the container, so of course I need somewhere to put the contents…..somewhere like say, a house! Of course even this aspect isn’t completely straight forward, as many items needed for construction of the house, are in the container – chicken – egg – omelette. I never expected to have the house finished before the container arrived, so Id always planned on buying one locally. I now have that in hand & at $1500 second hand but secure & water tight, it doesn’t seem so bad, especially if I can resell it when Im done. The thing is, I still need somewhere to put it, so works to the land had to start in order to be at a certain stage by a certain time. So now a similar logistical scenario, only now its here in Ecuador, where Im less clear on what the rules should be.

Way down in the Mud

I already had a relationship with the digger driver, so it was no problem getting good ‘ol boy Bob back on site. We broke ground officially 18^th July 2017. We had a good day as we cut into the hill to get level ground & formed an access ramp into site. Hopeful I could get some contractors to site later in the week, so we also excavated for the septic tank. One more day & we’d be done with the digger, a day ahead of schedule & I was smiling, feeling like Id taken a big stride on the next phase of this journey. That stride took a back step the following morning after a night of rain that showed no sign of relenting. It was all we could do to get the digger back out onto the track & along the access road back to tarmac that was already a foot deep in liquid clay. Works were abandoned for the week.

We got back onto site the following Tuesday, but having to spend 2 hrs pulling a delivery lorry out of the mud, we ran over into Wednesday. That being said, all 18 pad foundations excavated & site levelled, with materials on site to begin construction, we were on our way now baaaaaby! While we were rained off, I set about finding replacement contractors. Ive had many agree works & rates etc only for it to fall over, either other commitments crop up, or more commonly they want taxi fair to & from as well as to & from lunch AND then me pay for lunch. Its not the money, it’s the principle. Between themselves they perpetuate the myth that this is “traditional”, its not, its bollox. The builders who have done a little better for themselves & thus have their own motorbike, get themselves to & from & so can also go home for lunch – Im more than happy with this, so don’t watch the clock too hard – it should also be noted they do not take mid morning or afternoon breaks, so a Maestro & his labourer (which he brings on his bike) are $30 & $20 a day respectively & they graft. I have Roey on site acting as translation & support. He is buying his own land, so its an ideal opportunity for him to learn what lays ahead for him & of course, it makes my life much easier. I am having problems with material suppliers – ironically, taking orders for material they don’t have in stock & making delivery promises they cant keep. So Im spending a bit of time up & down the coast getting the bits n pieces we need. Cheap blocks are plentiful here, but they are hand made by budding sole traders who shovel sand straight off the beach to make them – any wonder they crumble. Luckily, with the help of Jarret, I can buy quality blocks in bulk direct from Guayaquil & have them stored locally & delivered piecemeal at minimal cost, which is good, because I need around 20,000 of them. What they don’t have here are Hyabs & grab loaders, so every one of those blocks will be hand loaded & unloaded. That’s a practice that health & safety wouldn’t tolerate, but they also still use 50kg bags of cement – Id forgotten how heavy they were! They also make do with whatever they can find or make what they need to do the job – check out this hacksaw made from reinforcement bar.

As of today then, the septic will be finished end of the week & we will build a temp toilet & an office on top. When we get to the cabling & expensive stuff, it will also serve at hut for night watchman. All the reinforcement for the foundations is in place & I hope to pour them all next Wednesday/Thursday. We can then start to build the below ground cold water storage tank & begin the columns that will support the ground floor from the basement. Water is enabled & I have a meter fitted. Electricity is ordered, but I needed to prove I owned the land before they will action. I duly handed over my registration document, dated January 2016, which is when I bought the land. How could I have forgotten that all documentation used to substantiate a request must be dated within 6 months of the request. So its get the guys going on site, then on the bus for a coupla hours to get the document reprinted with an August date this year. $15 & come back in a week….breathe.

 

Just to wrap up this segment of the update, in discussing the container delays with my import agent, she clarified the way the rules currently stand – the 6 month tax free period is from when you entered the country, not visa issue, which as I landed December last year, I foresaw an import tax bill that could shade the GDP of a small country. As the very definition of simplicity, the easy way around this is to just cross the border to get a new entry stamp. Simples! The closest border for me is Peru, but as Im leaving the country, Id like to go somewhere I haven’t been before…..& also, why not make a lil trip out of it J Roey & I have a friend who lives in Medellin, flights are cheap & I can use my visa to travel within south America, so wouldn’t even need my passport if I didn’t need to get it stamped 😉 Colombia Update hopefully coming 2^nd week September….

Born To Be Wild

Riding the bike here is great, especially along the beach with the sun beating down on your back & the wind in your hair, dolphins cresting the surf, cheering you on as you power across the sand. Im not very good at cruising gently along, preferring to give it my all & sprint to my destination. This doesn’t lend itself to long bike rides for pleasure & certainly rules out the 20km journey to site. As luck would have it, or because I concentrated & attracted it to me if you prefer 😉 an opportunity arose to buy a motorbike. Now Im not a lover of speed & very nearly died on a bike. Well I suppose it was coming off the bike that nearly killed me, but you get the point, Im not a biker. Needs must & all of that, with a car looking like only a remote possibility, we haggled down to $500 including helmet. It’s a Loncin 150cc, an obscure Chinese brand that are used as work horses around here. Mine comes with the family seat, capable of taking two overweight parents & up to three children if at least one is under two years of age. After factory enhancements & modifications include a general purpose side rack. Originally intended to carry surfboards, its use is almost unlimited. I have pushed a few limits & am now considered an honoury Ecuadorian. Ive been stopped multiple times & play the enthusiastic expat, appearing to make the best effort to converse, eager to show documentation & offer any assistance I can. Mostly I receive a smile, a handshake & bade farewell, only one has questioned why the registration is out of date & did I know my UK license is only valid for 3 months. No one cares whether my helmet is on my arm or on the rack as long as I have it. It seems unimportant whether the lights or horn work, or whether its in any way safe. They do confiscate a significant number of bikes, trucks & cars though, but it seems this only happens if you don’t pay a fine. Many of the transit police now wear pin badges that state “Im Honest”, which mostly seems to mean they aren’t lying when they tell you the fine is $10 instead of $5 because you are a gringo & can therefore afford it. I do of course wear my helmet whenever Im on the road & I took the bike to a mechanic for a full service. Rather than run any risks, he replaced the chain, the clutch & cable, cleaned the carb & replaced choke cable, replaced horn & associated cabling to it & starter button. Replaced front break pads & fluid, replaced oil, spark plug & all bulbs. The bill, $18 parts, $15 labour & it took him all day. It costs me $3 to fill up with petrol & even hauling heavy loads with Roey on the back, a tank lasts well over two weeks. Can I get an Amen, Bargain.

 

Of course part of the appeal for bikes is the sense of freedom, amplified in the sunshine, but wet weather & the appropriate clothing required, somewhat take the edge off riding in the rain. So whilst its great being mechanically mobile, I long for the days when I can chuck a ton of crap behind the back seat & not have to unload & bring it inside when I get to my destination. I need a truck!

It Wasn’t Me…..!

The challenge is that the leniency shown to motorbikes, does not apply to the bourgeoisie who flaunt their wealth by showing off their four wheels & fitted roof like they owned the road. Car drivers need their documents in order, or the fines get larger & the risk of confiscation increase. A friend driving a car owned by another friend was stopped late one night – he doesn’t have a license & whilst not drunk, he had had a beer. The usual gringo fine for non production of a license is $10, but because the officer thought he may be drunk (he passed the test) all his passengers should also pay the fine. I need a license!

Eligibility for a driving license here is not automatic & definitely not some 2^nd amendment loophole. You need to have gained a high school diploma & this scholastic status has to be recorded on your identity documentation. According to a Brit here, a formal list of examinations passed doesn’t cut the mango & as I went to neither college nor Uni, I had no parchment of my own. I did try using the professional qualifications I gained later, but they are neither known nor recognised. Surely there must be another way…..of course there is 🙂

There’s Something Going On Down Near Slough

Having spoken to our “contact”, we arrange to meet him in a town about 2hrs North called Jipi Jappa. We had all of our photocopies & passport type photos as instructed, but didn’t know what to expect. Ramon (name changed just in case), met us outside the police station which doubles as the driver training centre. We follow him inside, past 60 or so people waiting patiently on broken plastic chairs & then behind the counter into his office. Ramon is the licensing manager & we present the documents we have. We sign a few of his documents, confirm some details & are then asked to return to the waiting room & well, wait. After many chapters of my book Ramon calls us back into his office. Congratulations, you have passed the practical test, come back in 10 days for the theory. We pay him $200, head home with that vague sense of unease you get when you have little to no idea what is going on. Sure enough, 9 days later Ramon calls us to say the written test is tomorrow. This time we know to go straight to his office & are met with, congratulations, you have passed, here are your licenses. We paid him the $200 balance & walked away, having been no where near a car or test paper, but now being the proud owners of legitimate issue certification. Can I get an Amen, Ramon. Now I have to organise a trip to the mountains to see if I can pick up a cheap runabout to use while building the house. I know its gonna get beaten up, so don’t want to waste money on something nice only to ruin it. Ive made a loose agreement with myself that if I buy cheap now & bring the house in under budget, then I can reward myself with something nicer when I’m done. Time will tell 😀

 

Being on site has allowed me to get a feel for what its going to be like living in my little slice of heaven. I chose it because of the lush greenery in a time of drought. Its not rain forest, but it is forest & over here that means less sun dappled leafy paths & more actual jungle. There are monkeys & mountain lions in the hills above me. Ive seen neither, but my closest neighbour told me the lions come to his fence from time to time. He also told me of snakes & deadly, one foot long centipedes, for which there is only a single anti-venom at the local clinic. He tells me he keeps a shot each for him, his wife & baby – I will do the same just in case….of a bite, not a wife & baby 😉 It is wonderfully serene, with a myriad of birds providing the soundtrack to the day & I cant wait to move in. One day last week, needing a pee & the septic not ready to use, I walk into the trees on the other half of my land – we’ve only stripped the area where the house will be for now, so the rest is somewhat overgrown. Im looking down, cos yes, I am now a little concerned what might be lurking in the dense undergrowth, when something catches my eye above. They say processed thought is the slowest thing to move within the body – The eyes will see, the brain will interpret & assess, sending action instruction to the rest of the body. You are moving before you realise why. A couple of paces back towards the safety of open dirt & I realise why Im running ( & whimpering more than a little), above me on a web appearing to be spun from corded tensile steel, was the second largest spider I have ever seen. The first was a giant tarantula in the Peruvian Amazon that was over 14” across, fat & hairy. To be honest it wasn’t scary in the least. It was so incomprehensible that it felt like a poorly made film prop from something like Arachnophobia. The one in my tree was different & it was much, much closer & very, very real at about 8-10”. I sent Roey back in to take a photo whilst I went to wash my pants & find any possible weaponry. The quality isn’t great, but Im sure you’ll get what I mean from the photo. Note to self, buy mongoose, live safely ever after. I was going to get a big lizard, but Im told they are mostly vegetarian & will just eat my flowers, or if I can stop it eating my chicken eggs, a possum may be the way to go…..

They are everywhere – note how it trys to fool you into thinking its something its not

As I said, it feels like its been raining since my mother left, but after a five year drought, the land needs it & hopefully everything will settle down next year. This meant that the weather wasn’t the best by the time Wally & his son arrived in mid June. We had fun, I think they managed to relax whilst also doing a lot of biking & yoga & even a surf lesson. With little expectation of the weather improving they made the right choice to head off early & spend some time in the Galapagos. Im sure they’ll tell you all about it in their own words, but their copy hadn’t arrived before I went to press on this episode.

Jeff arrives back for a cheeky week end of August so we can continue our tradition of dual birthday celebrations………& that will be the starting point for next time.

S x