Hey Everyone 🙂

So here we are then, technically my first “update” delivered online & thus, now its “on demand”. The good news for you guys is that you now have a chance to opt out…..so for those of you not reading this, I understand, no need to explain, but please pop back another time when you’ve got less going on & my life is starting to look interesting again 😉

This also means that the renaming ceremony planned to coincide with this update, will now be postponed indefinitely as each new post requires a title by default. So for now at least, & not because none of you wrote in with suggestions for a new title, I will theme them according to whatever pops into my head, or perhaps the significant subject matter of the post…..& this week that’s Easter!

I confess, I misled you as I was misleded unto myself.

Many of the locals I have spoken to blame the economy & it seems those very same locals may well have been right, as people stayed away in their droves & made this Easter a non event. Friday night is usually a-buzz with early arrivals ready for the weekend. Finished with a working week that affords them their own car, or at least to know someone that does, hanging out the passenger side of their best friends ride…..but still, there were very few & Friday night was very quiet.

Rewarded here on earth

The upside then is that there were very few bookings for my hotel, so after much debate & even more gesticulation, we agreed on an extra $30 for the weekend & I could stay in my room 🙂

Now of course, no good deed goes unpunished, a prophecy I fully understood as a young couple & their baby moved in to the room beneath mine. Ive admired the timber floor in my room since I got here. It is rough hewn from cheap wood, but sanded smooth & sort of level with the grain looking real pretty, but so far I had only seen it from above. I was first struck by the many, many shafts of light pouring up through the floor as it eventually dawned on me, there was no ceiling below & therefore very little to interrupt the now steady flow of noise. Its very common here to just not bother with a window & simply install a frame with fly screen across it, so Ive become used to hearing people as though they were in the next room. This young couple tho, it was as if we were in the very same room – I almost gave myself whiplash I looked round so many times as I thought they were talking to me. To be fair to the baby tho, he kept quiet during his parents amorous escapades, so at least I got to sleep through them…..

& he shall rise again

Saturday morning then & Im up & awake but feeling sleepy. There are very few traders around & no one seems to be doing anything at the church, the obvious epicenter for the fervent. Its also clear that nothing is going to  happen, so I head to the beach by early afternoon. A nice swim, the sea both refreshing & a workout, so Im now ready for a snooze. Dry my head n hands, light a smoke & pop the headphones on to let Shizzla’s Vol 24 take me to another place. I lay back & let the music wash over me. Not asleep, but you wouldn’t know it from the outside. The salt drying on my legs pulled at the hairs, ensuring I was bought back to reality as I mentally tried to assess, or sense if you will, whether I was sufficiently dry yet to apply lotion….Now I wont bore you with the lengthy conversation that went on in my head, suffice it to say I decided I would stay for 6 tracks, 30mins only & then head home for a cool shower & a snooze in the shade. Photo 1 should tell you all you need to know as to why that was the wrong decision & needless to say, I no longer wait & always apply while wet…..

& If Ye Shall Taste of the Flesh

Whilst there were very few people out & about, I was mindful of the dietary restrictions Catholicism dictates over Easter, so stayed away from my usual haunts & headed for a beer & tacos at Eddies Place. Eddie is what some describe as a lovable rogue. Ecuadorian born, but grew up with a large family in Miami, honing the “entrepreneurial” skills he has bought back to Olon. His English is excellent & as such, his trade is a rolling stock of ex-pats, most of whom seem to want something that Eddie can get or knows a guy for. He’s not quite as lovable as Ellis “Red” Redding, though his trade appears just as brisk & he’s possibly a better cook. Turns out tho, the cook is only as good as his ingredients & the cramps I endured for the next 72hrs would suggest that as tasty as the chicken burrito was, it contained far more bacteria leaving the kitchen than it arrived with.

If I Should Sleep before I Wake, I Pray the Lord My Soul to Shake….

So that was Easter, a damp squib if ever there was & certainly not the religious extravaganza I was expecting….but wait, whats this, the party is back on, but now its next weekend! Yes that’s right, the 1^st weekend after Easter is when Olon celebrates its own “Mercy Day”. It seems Jesus rising from the cave was just not that big a deal & it’s the second week, where mercy was shown that provides the cause for celebration, so now they will party!

It all started on the Friday night. The town square positively heaving with the weight of roadside vendors, all set around the formidable main stage, seemingly transformed overnight. Having eaten, I shuffled around for a few hours, milling with the locals & tourists alike, just going around & around with very little happening. Thinking the stage must be set up for Saturday, I called it a night a little after 10.30. Around midnight I was shaken from my slumber by a cacophony the like of which I have never before heard. Two things were very clear, Ecuadorian amps go up to 11 & the warm up band thought they were headlining. Of course I toyed with the notion of getting up & going for a look, but my ears were actually starting to hurt even tho I was behind the system & over 150yrds away in my hotel. Headphones on & sleep aid swallowed, I opted to remain in bed as surely by the time I get up, get dressed & make my way to the stage, they will inevitably begin packing up. At some point during the night my headphones & I parted company, so it came as something of a surprise to be roused by a familiarly painful volume as the closing act took the stage around 7am. Rock on!

& He shall be raised upon High, for He has a pick up

Nothing happened anywhere near early on Saturday, by lunchtime tho, things were beginning to stir. There was a short church service, entry to which was accompanied by the Banda Orquestra, putting a lil voom in your vespers. Following a quick prayer & a couple of hymns, a symbolic “Christos” was loaded into a truck, the band piled into another, important members of the church got the last truck, with everyone else taking a seat on a dragon train. Im no theologist, so Im sure you will forgive me if I don’t recall exactly where a dragon fits into the original story?? ……..Anyway, Effigy, Band & the faithful set off to tour the streets, which they continue to do for nearly 4hrs & as you may recall, Olon isn’t that big, so they were passing by my window about every 20mins. Now that’s taking your message to the people, however, I did find it odd that people waited for it to come around again instead of joining the procession! 🙂 I do have to say tho, I enjoyed what they played – A curious mix of Tijuana Brass meets Naw-lins Ragtime on speed. The bass drum was straight 4×4 at about 98bpm, but the kettle, snare & cymbals were double timing on an imaginary off beat. All the while the brass is swinging between manic & melancholic, maudlin & mujahidin.

It shall come to pass, a glorious thunder

I was expecting a repeat performance tonight, so planned on taking in the experience of the main square, so needed an early snooze. Fan on, gently sliding into slumber & boom, shake the room, which felt like, BOOM! SHAKE THE ROOM! That’s right, there is no main square show, tonight its all about taking things to the streets. So yes, that was the sound check for the set up right outside my window. It would appear that after some serious sweat n tears, a roadie had managed to get the amp up to 12 & subsequently broken the knob off. Of course my balcony affords me a good view if not a reduced volume, so I watched a few hours of the compare going around the crowd, asking where they were from & getting them doing animal impersonations in between the dj slamming out another Reggae-ton floor filler, which no one danced to. An accomplished MC, he had them backside balloon busting, limbo & more impressions before opening the floor to karaoke wannabeez, which was my cue to lay down & put something soothing on the mental jukebox:

Hello darkness my old friend, Ive come to talk with you again. Because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I was sleeping. When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light, that split the night. And in the naked light I saw, 3 or 4 people, maybe more. People hearing without listening, people talking without speaking & no one cared that they’d disturbed the sound of silence.

Yes, so the music wound up around 2am, but that’s when the fireworks started. Now given the vast majority of the foreign imports in Ecuador are from China, one would’ve expected a decent showing from the pyrotechnical originators. Whilst I am amazed at the mechanics of fireworks, Im left rather flat with the end result & have never been part of the “oooooh, ahhhhh” crowd. It seems they don’t go for the pretty colours here, but rather the biggest bang they can get, a fact I was soon to get intimately acquainted with. The first sonic boom seemed to implode my chest, pushing me down into the mattress for a split second only to immediately leave a void in its place as the sound sucked the very air out of the room. My PTSD addled brain limped into overdrive as I imagined the Ringmasters introduction……

Aaaand Now, Preeeesenting in the left corner, aaaaaall the way from Liuyang City, China, iiiiiiiiiiiits FFFFlasssssh Baaaaaaaang!!!!!

Not unlike Amsterdam at New Year, its about the sheer volume created by huge numbers of exactly the same firework going off at the same time. For the Dutch its firecrackers, for Olonians its Flash Bang Bombs!

Let me tell you, I very nearly soiled myself. This was air raid without the timely benefit of the pre-warning siren. It felt like the final Armageddon beginning all around me, wrenching me from sleep as I struggled to piece together what was happening & in which direction to run! I headed for safety in the street, only to find the dj gone, replaced with a tower assembly, listing yet still looming up into the night sky, the blue touch paper awaiting the fiery touch that will ignite its coat of many crackers

Ok, this is nice, Ill get me some snacks & watch the display thinks I 🙂 Just then, a squeal goes up as a man wearing a small bull on his head emerges from the crowd. The bull is stuffed with all manner of explosives as it runs around chasing the excited crowd. If this wasn’t frightening enough, whilst people were busy watching the bull get ready, the organisers were placing huge flash bombs discreetly in amongst the crowd, so as they ran away, they ran into explosions. Amazingly no one appeared hurt, which was lucky cos St Johns Ambulance were no where to be seen. When the Pamplona on TNT fun was over, it was time to light the tower, it rounded off a pretty wild night & everyone seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves. If I hadn’t been quite so scared, Im sure I would’ve as well 😉

Reap as Ye Shall Have Sown

There’s been a delay in the processing of my land registry documentation. Ive been told I am 5^th in the queue, but no real context as to what that might imply. Not sure what the issue is, though I am informed it is a general issue & not something specific to me, so no doubt some joker has hidden the ink pad & left them all blindly waving their dry stamps in the air, unable to pass a partially completed document on to the next stage. Its strangely reassuring to know that bureaucracy moves at its own pace, regardless of where in the world you are.

So whilst I have spoken to contractors & have agreements on intent, little of the initial works can be agreed until we know what we are looking at & when we can start – nothing can be agreed until I have the paperwork. This leaves me at a bit of a loose end. Long story short, looking for something to keep me busy, I went to look at 3 jobs for ex-pats. All 3 are disasters that Im not going to detail, but will say Im not getting involved with any of them. What I learned though, was that these “almost clients” had spent several hundred thousand dollars on very poorly constructed houses, so assuming I can realise my intention, finding buyers shouldn’t be a problem. Until then, I am settling into Ecuadorian life & whilst it isn’t completely relaxing as I know I will become very active as soon as I get the nod, I do have something of a routine that fills my days – hopefully next week I will be starting therapeutic pottery – so you can all expect wobbly ashtrays for Christmas 😉

Is that The Rapture, or just a fat lady singing….

Either way I think this is a timely place to pause for this episode. I do appreciate that many of you just don’t have the time to work your way through these mini novellas, however, hopefully now they are online, you can ease your way through them at your own leisurely pace, as & when convenient.

Before I go tho, a few shout outs: To my mum for being the first to sign up as a follower, To Roz, wishing you a speedy recovery & to my sister & brother in-law. Sian & Warren should be welcoming a lil baby girl into the world sometime between now & my next issue, so I would like to get in there early & congratulate them both. Not forgetting Charlie of course, who now takes on my role as a big brother 🙂

As always, miss you all & wish you were here…..